Happy New Year

Jeremy and Kylie just left to go back to St. George. Jeremy is taking Kylie to Arizona to spend a couple weeks with my family there. I am sitting here all alone and it stinks!! I hate it when Jeremy has to leave and it's ten times worse when Kylie goes with him. I keep telling myself this will all be over soon enough and it will seem like a moment in time.

Jeremy, Kylie and I celebrated the new year by sleeping! How lame, but we were all exhausted. I woke up at 12:30 just a tiny bit disappointed we missed the ball drop at midnight. We did happen to watch it fall in New York at 10 so I guess we'll just have to count that as celebrating for this year.

I am so grateful that Jeremy's parents come up to visit us. They were so great so take Kylie wherever they went so I could spend time at the hospital. Kylie was able to visit her great grandma Urie and her great grandma and grandpa Felix in Logan along with some cousins. She loved swimming at the hotel with grandpa and was very sad when they left.

We have had some pretty exciting things happen the past couple of days. Jase was moved from his closed isolate to an open crib which means he is able to keep his body temperature up without any help. It's funny to see his tiny little body in what seems like such a big bed.

On Friday I worked with a Therapist to feed him from a bottle. It's a pretty intense process. I first have make sure he is good and awake. If he is then I have him suck on his binki for few minutes to get him ready. Then I have to make sure I am holding him kind of on his side with my hand under his neck so I can feel him swallowing and breathing. Then I have to get him interested in bottle. Once he starts sucking I watch and count his swallows, not the weak swallows only the good swallows (I really can't tell the difference between the two, but the therapist would try to point them out to me) and then if he doesn't stop for a breath after about 5 swallows I have to stop him and make sure he breaths, and I have to do that before the monitor beeps at me telling me he isn't breathing. I have to watch his lips to make sure they don't turn blue and his face to make sure it doesn't turn pale. He's a really good sucker he just need to remember to breath. Despite all that we were able to feed him 20cc (30cc is a full feeding) before he was tuckered out. My favorite part is the end when I get to burp him (he's pretty impresssive there also) and hold him up against me for a half hour while the milk settles in his stomach.

On Saturday I had a less than attentive nurse and was only able to get 10cc down before he was wiped out. I was to stressed about his breathing that I don't think I was as aggressive as I could have been. It was scary doing it on my own, but I love all these new things he is doing. Each new things makes me feel more and more like his mom. I actually get to do things for him and in a small way take care of him. I am so grateful for his progression and the way he is developing.

Kylie loves the walkway with the huge windows between the hospitals

and she liked this statue so much she gave him a hug. ( too bad I caught her just as she put her arms down)